Yup, that’s how I often describe myself. I’m like a malfunctioned Ying/Yang as well. What sucks about it is that I’m also an author sooooo, when I am advertising/marketing anything goes. It also depends on how much sleep I’ve had and how the mood swings with the lack of sleep. I do like when the “I don’t care, I’m exhausted so it WILL work” mood kicks in. It’s the “Why do I keep doing this, no one seems to be paying any attention and I obviously suck” mood that really bites. It’s not that I don’t believe in myself or my work. Far from it. I love my characters and stories so I could never be embarrassed or ashamed of them. If anything, I want people to meet them. They are, after all, a part of me so in a way, my characters/stories introduce me. Yes, even the villains are a part of me.
In crowds or at large social gatherings or even the small ones…well, let’s just say I’m a wrapped up nerve about to burst if I can’t find a quiet corner to hide…er exist in until the event is over. Of course, if books or writing is mentioned….well then, there is no off switch and that bundled nerve unravels (so run). So why do I find it so hard to market/advertise via social media? Well, I’m not a pushy or ‘assertive’ type (I’m the horrible meek, quiet, you don’t see me). Stupid, right? Yes, it bothers me too. It’s this annoying little malfunction or glitch in my programming that says it is impolite and people don’t want you to shove your ‘wares’ (in my case, books) down their throat-mention maybe, but don’t suffocate them. I really don’t mind seeing Tweets or FB posts where others are presenting/selling their work (even if it is like every five minutes)–if anything, I will retweet/repost for them (well, not every five minutes). I seriously want them to do good and I hope my wee bit helps. I always hope they do the same for me (for which I’ve learned that most don’t) and I, for some annoying reason, feel embarrassed at asking them to do the same for me (I have this silly notion in my mind that people should do things because they want to and not because they were asked). Yes, I’m afraid that I am really that simple and silly. I probably need to see a shrink for this defect.
Ah well, my psyche will always be an issue I guess and writing/drawing will always be my therapy. I just need to work A LOT more on the ‘speaking up’ part and maybe learning to ask people for things. Fortunately, we are all ‘works in progress’ so there’s still time/hope. So with that said, while I am in the ‘just give it try’ mode, I will beseech those that read this to aide me. Lulu (who I mostly publish through) sent an email saying that if the author gets family/friends to Tweet about their book then they will add the author to their giftguide. I really don’t know how many Tweets must be tweeted before they decide or even if there is an end date. I don’t imagine the same Tweeter posting loads of times would be of any help so one tweet per tweeter would most likely do. So if you have a Twitter account and could, please, copy/paste/tweet this for me: